relationships & love sisterhood

We’ve Got The Power

by Amber — June 15, 2011

As women, we boast of a long list of collective strengths; intelligence, sensitivity, and multi-tasking, to name only a few. We brag about raising a family and holding down a job, at the same time, and somehow find the time for much needed nights out with the girls. We can organize a bake sale, clean house for guests five minutes away or coach a t-ball team with a moments notice, we are super women.

But when it comes to dating and falling in love why do so many of us end up deflated and left for dead?

There was a time when women lost their virginity on their wedding night. A time when women made men wait for sex. That just doesn’t seem to happen anymore.

Despite our honest (at the time) declarations to our girl friends that “I just want to sleep with him” or “I know he’s not marriage material” we let our loins get in the way of reason and become attached to the wrong guy. We chase, flirt and ultimately land our target and sometimes quicker than the chase, we end up face down in our pillows crying broken hearted sobs.

Somehow, when we’re slipping him the tongue we also slip him all the power.

Women of decades past lacked power in making decisions or money, but had power in one area of importance, sex.

Taking the time to really learn who your future lover is gives you the opportunity to find out if he’s marriage material. If you sleep with him too early, the fact that he gets a lot of texts from other women is easily ignored. If you sleep with him too early, you may not be so bothered that he prefers fast food over fine dining. Heck, if you sleep with him too early, you may not notice that he only seems to call Wednesday after work for a same evening rendez-vous.

Of course there are exceptions to my grandmotherly advice and of course it’s not the way a modern woman is “supposed” to operate. If the modern woman wants something she goes for it, doesn’t she? Think about it, while negotiating a deal with a big corporation, you wouldn’t stand in front of the board of directors naked and vulnerable; you’d protect yourself until you have all the facts and you know the deal is right for you, then you’d get naked.

We live in a world where everything happens now. Love and life time commitments don’t work that way. If you want them to last, they take time. If you need to release some energy to get through the waiting period, well,… I’m sure there’s an app. for that.

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