It’s the closest I’ve ever been to someone, even though I’ve never looked you in the eyes.
I believe you can read my thoughts and feel the depth of my love without ever having to speak a word. Though I want you to know the sound of my voice, and be soothed by my off key songs, I don’t feel connected to you through my belly. My connection to you is less obvious, deeper and much more natural.
Your first touch was so typical of our relationship. Three soft pokes as if to see if I was out there, as if to see if you had really made it through and to make sure I knew it. I did. I knew it.
I love it when you surface and explore your temporary home. I love to feel you poke and prod as you learn to use your quickly growing body. Not only does it reassure me that you’re really there, that you’re getting strong and that in a few months I’ll get to hold you in my arms, but it also tells me that everything is going to be okay.
There are moments, not built into real thoughts, more a sense or feeling, that when we finally do meet and I get to look into your eyes, that I will know you and you will know me.
Grow big and strong so when that day comes you’re able to handle all the love your Father and I have for you in the form of hugs, kisses and endless tickles.
I anticipate missing the blessing of carrying you with me, but look forward to sharing your adventures on the outside world. Watching you grow, laugh and love.
I love you already, most of all.