food pregnancy & parenting sisterhood

Ode to my former waistline

by Kimiecat β€” August 22, 2013

I cleaned my closet, then I wrote this melodramatic sonnet in the style of Shakespeare. Place hand to brow & read it bombastically if you have ever been pregnant:

Ode to my former waistline

Waistline, forgive me, for I have wronged you,
These days beach towels barely span my body.
Those days you were with me, I ignored you.
I forsook you vainly, and you have forsaken me.

You’ve been expanded by a natural cause
a joyful new family addition
and even before, your small growth, that was
no fault, caused by genetic disposition.

I see so clearly how shapely we once
were. Waistline, buttoning jeans was a snap.
We’ve grown distant, by ten inches, these nine months.
Can’t we work it out & close this surmounting gap.

Find forgiveness for our younger selves, fools,
lost sight of beauty in sizes and diet rules.


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  • Crank Dub

    In wail Shakespearean you lament:
    You have lost sight of yourself.

    I have lost sight of my shoes.

    Yet the waistline which I embrace
    Is also made of love:
    The love of food
    and of a good woman.

    Alas, mine will not be reduced
    by cry of child,
    But by the wailing of Doctor No.

    No more eating this,
    No more eating that,
    Or she who will say:
    “No more of the other”.

    Such a waist,
    such a waste.

    I fear nine months is not enough.

    • Bridget

      Crank, i forgot to comment on this when I read it earlier in the week. Amazing! I love hearing from the ‘other side’ (men/dudes/not-chicks) in the comments section. I also can’t believe you didn’t enter our One Year Anniversary Contest! You would have done very well I’m certain! I’m looking forward to your future comments. πŸ˜‰

      • Crank Dub

        I’m blushing here! I was just hoping that Kimi wouldn’t be insulted by my post. Of course, the shorter version could be:

        While I’ll undoubtedly stay fat,
        Kimicat will soon be lean,
        She only has until the baby’s born,
        To fit into my jeans.


        • Bridget

          Cute and sassy. Love it!

  • kimiecat

    Crank, this is bloody genius!! So nice to know I’m not the only one with waistline struggles & thanks for the words of encouragement πŸ˜‰ this whole parenthood journey involves so many leaps of faith & trust it’s like getting married & all the experienced folks sort of hide their secret smiles…there is always the good, the bad, the ugly & the sublime.