There are days and, then, there are days and I’m afraid I’ve had one of those
days weeks months where nothing feels right and everything’s gone a bit, well, to shit. December didn’t really come across as December and Christmas didn’t feel like Christmas and 2014 can’t hustle out the door fast enough. I don’t know about you but I’m tired and dejected and getting fed up with what’s going on in the world around me. I’m also a bit flustered as to what I’m doing with myself. I don’t know what direction to go in next because there are no signposts and I’ve lost my way.
It’s annoying to endure such periods, however I’ve come to learn there is no point in fighting against sometimes. Nope, this is one of those moments where I gain nothing by banging my head against the wall or drafting a series of action plans or detailing a pro and con list. It’s a time that does not require talking it out or looking for advice or pushing my hands together in prayer.
I’m not going to do any of these things because this is a moment that calls for only one thing: surrender. There is nothing for me to do but wave the white flag and capitulate to the here and now, along with my current position in it. I know that some may see this as a rather fatalistic action/way of thinking but I believe there is something to be said for giving up, turning out, leaving behind and handing over everything that hasn’t worked regardless of how painful it is to dredge up and hold in your bare hands. There are times when there is nothing else to do but slap your disappointment and shame and confusion on the table and let it sit there and fester regardless of how much it smells or how slick it is to the touch.
Through surrender the idea is to get lighter. It’s to release and unhinge. The point is to offload everything and prepare for some thing(s) better. It’s to exchange for some thing(s) bigger.
Be ready to accept some thing(s) more.
Here is to hoping 2015 is a great year for you and you and you. Yes, and you. May it provide us with more of everything good that 2014 forgot to give.
Spell to Soften the Hard Heart of a Woman by Jeni Couzyn
The almond has trapped herself in a cage of bone,
The chetnut in bristle is hidden,
The gnarled old man still trembles like a boy at the
sound of your name.
Your hurt be in the ground,
Your fear be in the wind,
Your pain be in the stone.
The cords of your heart are untied,
The envious thorn is drawn from your eye,
The scaly armour falls from you making you young.
By this flame, holy,
By this water, holy,
By earth, holy,
By air, holy.
The spiteful shadow is trimmed from your heel,
The nine wounds from your mother’s whip
are washed from your blood,
Your dark of father is filled with father love.
Be blessed by gardenia,
By hyacinth, blessed,
By honeysuckle, blessed,
By this star, holy,
By night, holy,
By laughter holy,
By this kiss, holy.