humour relationships & love

Now That We Found Love (What Are We Gonna Do With It?)

by JoAnna — February 14, 2017

Love isn’t an endangered resource. Trust me. If you want some you’ll have to dole it out until you’re almost running on empty.

The only way to get is to open up the levies and give.


Valentine’s Day. #Meh. It’s the most obnoxious holiday out there. I despise the urgency of the occasion, plus the predatory sugared hearts and big fluffy bears manufactured for grown adults. I think it’s gauche how people are made to feel guilty if they don’t pony up for stale chocolates, an overpriced dinner, or genetically modified tulips to show how much they care.

Ugh. How about, no?

It’s why I duck to avoid Cupid’s arrow and instead gravitate to Christina‘s self-love mantra. The idea of looking inwards, being kinder, more forgiving and less judgemental beats being sucked into the mythos (and pathos) of February 14th. I prefer it to worshipping at the altar of coupledom, which has its benefits, sure, (e.g. exfoliating your back in the shower is that much easier) but still comes with a Pandora’s Box of drama and drawbacks. Should you find the person who wrote the handbook on “happily ever after” please send him my way. I’d like to string him up.

And I’d do it without hesitation. Believe it.

Even in libertarian, hedonistic NYC the 14th is revered. Our obsession with romantic love leads people to believe they need soulmates as they are not whole unless their half-baked-selves join forces with another. This thinking, rooted in the Grimmest of fairy tales, is toxic for so many reasons. Not only does it blur the boundaries between alone and loneliness but it also makes us cling to wild expectations and unattainable ideals.

The craze for romance also means we overlook the love that resides within and in other fulfilling and rewarding places. There is love all around us, really. Often in alternative and equally important attachments that don’t hinge on the exchange of saliva or “till death do us part” affirmations. Tribal unions, safety nets, sisterhoods and bromances founded on respect, joy, affection and devotion.

Surrogate conduits of connection where a different kind of admiration flows in both directions.

 

Perhaps, instead of looking for how much we love we can gather we might be better served by how much we give away. Whenever we find some laying around we ought to do something useful with it…like celebrate. Or indulge in merry making. Let’s grow the love and flood the banks. Enjoy all the feels before returning to sender. And instead of material goods, let’s shower all our sweethearts with simple offerings of smiles, hugs, emails, texts, twenty minutes of undivided attention, and homemade meals. Let’s do it without thinking twice about what we’re giving up or worrying about where to find more adoration to squirrel away.

Love isn’t an endangered resource. Trust me. If you want some you’ll have to dole it out until you’re almost running on empty.

The only way to get is to open up the levies and give.

**My gift this year is a throwback tune by Heavy D and the Boyz. No, there’s need to say it. You are welcome.**

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  • I actually had no idea coupledom could be leveraged for better back exfoliation – I will look into this.

    You probably know that I’m not Valentine’s Day’s no.1 fan, based on previous blogging on the subject – despite being part of a couple for the last 17 Valentine’s Days, I have celebrated it precisely zero times. It’s mostly because I don’t like doing things just because I’m told to. I’ll celebrate romance on my own timetable, goddamnit! It’s also kind of annoying being subject to Valentine-related advertising, but I’ve cut down on it by telling Facebook that I’m 112 years old, and have no relationship status. They just show me ads for denture clinics now, instead of engagement rings and roses.