April 11th marks Empress Tea’s 7th anniversary! Over the years it’s been a wonderful platform to share the talents and brains of an amazing group of women. It makes me happy to hunt them down and share their minds with you on such a easily accessible medium. As the Head Empress I am extremely grateful for our collaborators and our reliable readers. If you find you miss some of our weekly updates feel free to subscribe to our newsletter and get us straight to your inbox; hot off the presses.
For your enjoyment today, we have the lovely Jam (writing from England), returning from retirement to share one of her greatest projects with us–her beautiful baby! 9 months ago she became a mother for the first time. Here at Empress Tea, we raise our teacups to her in solidarity and to honour her adventure into motherhood. We hope you come back to join us again when you have time!
xoxo The Head Empress
9 Months In, and 9 Months Out – by Jam
Today you are 9 inconceivable months old. Which means that you’ve been Earth-side almost as long as it took to grow you inside of me. 9 months in and 9 months out. I am no longer your home, but I promise to always be your constant. Which also means that if I blink, you’ll be a year old. A whole year of us. Why does it feel like you were born yesterday and a life time ago all at once?
And when I think back over these 9 months, I wouldn’t change one thing. Can’t change one thing. There were times when you cried, I cried, we both cried – struggling to understand each other. There were moments of fear and panic that I thought would never end. Moments when I wanted to run from all the overwhelming change. But, out of the worry, surrender and release a mother was born. And now my child, you have no idea how I ache to relive all those moments again. To burn them deep into my memory. To see your face again for the first time, to kiss your toes for the first time, to smell your hair and watch you sleep. All again, for the first time.
9 months to grow you. 9 months to heal my body. 9 months to reconcile my mind. 9 long, sleepless months. 9 short, joyous months.
I’ve been thinking what a paralyzing miracle it is to love someone quite so much. That no one told me that I would love you so much it hurts, and if they did, I didn’t understand until now anyway. How intoxicating and life altering and bewildering it all is. How Motherhood is messy, weird and beautiful – often all at once. How I’ll never get over it and I still trip out that I am your Mother and you are my Child. I will never get over how much I love you my daughter.
And, if you’re all grown and you’re reading this…you make me proud every single day. Oh, and please call your mother!