I am currently waiting for news. Somewhat important news. News that, while not really life-changing, will probably alter the course of the next year at the very least.
But despite trying very hard to act casual, taking lots of deep breaths, and keeping most of my slightly unhinged what-if scenarios as deeply under wraps as I can muster, I’m still feeling pretty impatient to hear one way or the other. I don’t deal well with uncertainty, although I’ve certainly improved over the years. I don’t get up at 5am on Christmas mornings any more and I don’t get too upset when TV producers split the final season of my favourite show into two 6-episode seasons to be screened over two years *coughMadMencough*.
I’ve had some success with distracting myself. I’ve been working longer hours at the office, taking on larger editing jobs. The especially boring ones I break down into 13-minute blocks, which is the length of one complete listen to the full version of John Coltrane doing “My Favourite Things”. I’ve started referring to a 13-minute unit of time as a Coltrane.
I’ve been taking long walks. Listening to audio books. Offering to do the dishes more than usual. Anything to get me to stop dwelling on these thoughts of mine. I’ve been writing haikus. Haikus are good for impatient people because they’re quite short and usually involve counting syllables, which I find calming (see: editor). Even though I’ve occasionally been convincing at acting nonchalant, my thoughts are one track, so my haikus are pretty all about waiting.
Check on the hour,
Every hour (or minute).
You have no new mail.
Waiting for that buzz.
Phones are torture devices.
“We’ll get back to you.”
Patience is a …what?
I don’t see the skill involved.
Virtues are for schmucks.
Another good distraction tool is Netflix, and fortunately I’ve still got a season and a half of Gilmore Girls left to watch. They’re the worst two seasons, but I’m much easier to please when my mind needs quieting. Easy to please, but not much of a blogger. Promise I’ll be in wittier spirits next post. Until then, it’s off…to wait.